The term "he" is used as convention, subject matter relates to both sexes.
Science never starts with "if" because science first tries to know what is real – what reality is, what the real is. Once the real is known it can then be transformed. For example, once you know what electricity is, it can be changed, transformed, used. A magician does not know what electricity is. Without knowing electricity, he is going to transform! Those kind of prophecies are just false – illusions.
Morality is just like magic. It goes on talking about the perfect man, and without knowing what man is – the real man. The perfect man remains as a dream. It is used just to condemn the real man. Man never reaches this ideal of the "perfect man."
Tantra is a science. Tantra says, first know what the reality is, what man is, and don’t create ideals right now; first know what is. Do not think of the "ought", just think of the "is". And once the "is" is known, then you can change it. Then you have the secret.
For example, tantra says do not try to go against sex, because if you go against sex and try to create a state of brahmacharya (mastery of the sex function), celibacy, purity, it is impossible. It is just illusion, not real. Without knowing what sex energy is, without knowing of what sex is constituted, without going deeply into the reality of it, the secrets of it, you can create an ideal of brahmacharya. Then what will you do? You will simply suppress. And a person who is suppressing sex is more sexual than a person who is indulging in it, because through indulgence the energy is released. Through suppression it is there, moving in your system continuously.
A person who suppresses sex starts seeing sex everywhere. Everything becomes sexual. Not that everything is sexual, but now that suppressive mind begins to project. "As within, so without." Now he projects! His own hidden energies (the shadow) is now projected. Everywhere he will look, he will see sex, and because he is condemning himself, he will start condemning everyone else.
"As within, so without."
You cannot find a moralist who is not violently condemning. He is condemning everyone; to him everyone is wrong. Then he feels good; his ego is fulfilled.
Why is everyone wrong? Because he sees everywhere the same thing that he is suppressing. His own mind will become more and more sexual, and more and more he will be afraid. This type of brahmacharya is a perversion, unnatural.
A different type of brahmacharya of a different quality happens to the follower of tantra, but the very process is totally, diametrically opposite. Tantra first teaches how to move in sex, how to know it, how to feel it, how to come the deepest possibility hidden in it, to the climax, how to find the essential beauty, the essential happiness and bliss that is hidden there.
Once you know that secret, you can transcend it, because really, in deep sexual orgasm, it is not sex which gives you the bliss, it is something else. Sex is just a situation. Something else is giving you the euphoria, the ecstasy. That something else can be divided into three basic elements. But when I speak about those elements, do not think that you can understand them just from my words. They must become part of your experience. As mere concepts, they are useless.
THE THREE BASIC ELEMENTS IN SEX.
Because of three basic elements in sex, you come to a blissful moment. Those three are:
You transcend time completely. There is no time. You forget time completely. In deep orgasm time ceases. Not that time ceases, it ceases for you; you are not in it. There is no past, no future. In this very moment, here and now, the whole existence is concentrated. This moment becomes the only real moment. If you can make this moment without sex, then there is no need for sex. Through meditation it happens.
In sex for the first time you lose your ego, you become egoless. So all those who are very much egoistic, they are always against sex. Why? Because in sex they have to lose their egos. You are not, nor is there the other. You and your beloved are both lost into something else. A new reality evolves, a new unit comes into existence in which the old two are lost – completely lost. The ego is afraid. You are no more there. If without sex you can come to a moment where you are not, then there is no need for sex.
In sex, you are natural for the first time. The unreal is lost, the façade, the face is lost; the society, the culture, the civilization is lost. You are part of nature – as trees are, as animals are, stars are. You are part of God’s Nature. You are in a greater something – the cosmos, the Tao. You are floating in it. You cannot even swim in it; you are not. You are just floating – being taken by the current.
These three things give you the ecstasy. Sex is just a situation in which it happens naturally. Once you know and once you can feel these elements, you can create these elements independently of sex. All meditation is essentially the experience of sex without sex. But you have to go through it. It becomes a part of your own experience, not just there as intellectual concepts, ideas, and thought.
Tantra is not for sex (to enhance sex life), tantra serves us as a successful tool of transcendence. But you can transcend only through experience – existential experience – not through ideology. Tantra provides a path to natures real brahmacharya. Only through knowledge does transcendence happen. Ignorance cannot help you to transcend, it can only help you to hypocrisy – and misery